A place I will always call HOME

I'm happy with where I am now. I love this place, I love Sydney, I love the crowd, I love making new friends, I love the city, I love how lively this city is.

But 1 thing, I'll never let go.. is the city I was raised in. The "boring" city, the quite city, the laid back city, the city of a thousand churches, the dead city... that's what people say, that's what people have in mind when they think about Adelaide. 

For me, Adelaide is the city of nice friendly people where people (even though they're strangers) care for one another, the city of peace, the city of less judgements, the less materialistic city, the city of "i don't care what you wear, I don't care what you look like". 

At times before I sleep, I think about my pasts and most of it happened in Adelaide. 

I miss fishing or crabbing at night till dawn, although sometimes my friends and I caught nothing. I miss fishing on the edge of a big rock that we had to climb. Fishing, waiting, talking, singing, listening and telling stories, and... laughing together. Sometimes with a bottle of beer on one hand and potato chips on the other hand.

I miss laying down on fresh lawn by the beach at night on summer days, looking at the clear starry skies, counting on the shooting stars that fell from the sky. The feeling of amazement looking at nature's beauty. 

I miss my secret place, where I can watch the whole city from the top of a hill. Not too close but not too far at the same time. I miss spotting the tallest building from that place, a 30 storey building that actually looks tall, compare to others.

I miss midnight snacks... whether its AB, o'connell bakery or pancake kitchen. I just miss them all.

I miss driving up the hill just to eat a burger.

I miss... Adelaide... A place I will always call home.

Happy Recipe

I'm happier now... I got rid of that gloomy feeling I had in my heart, the emptiness...

When I was in that state where I was covered with all those ugly feelings, I talked to some friends.. and they're like "If you want to be happy, you should choose to be happy and be happy. Its a matter of choice. You're unhappy because you chose to be unhappy."

Somehow they're right but its not like I don't want to be happy, of course I want to be happy. But still it doesn't make any difference although I tried to be happy.

If you're feeling what I felt, let me share my happy recipe.

Ingredients:
Miracles
Opportunities
Blessings
Faith
Gratefulness

Methods:
1. Miracles
Believe that everything is a miracle. You're here on this Earth, is a miracle. Your abilities/talents are all miracles. Miracles that God has given to you. Waking up every morning (or afternoon for some of you) is a miracle.

2. Opportunities
Each time something (anything) happened, is an opportunity. Not just big things like when you're challenged to do something big. But every little things can possibly have big impacts. Problems are also opportunities in life (see my previous blog post). Miracles contain opportunities. When you wake up each morning, its a new opportunity for you.

3. Blessings
Some people didn't realise how much they're blessed! Miracles and opportunities are blessings. It may sounds weird, but this is a fact: the more you bless, the more blessings you get. And it doesn't have to include monetary sometimes. So, bless other people. Offer what you have to help people. Not just money but anything you can do. Like prayers. When you pray for other people, you are blessing them. Or when you give your time for others in need, you're actually blessing them. Being able to bless other people makes me happy cause it determines how blessed I am to be able to bless others. So spread the blessings!

4. Faith
Faith is a power and it a super powerful power. When you fall, have faith! When you have faith in God, you will get not just something big but you'll receive more that what you ever thought, you'll get the impossible. Cause sometimes faith doesn't make any sense which is why the result is more and more and more than the best thing you could ever think in your mind.

"Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." -Matthew 17:20-

Have faith in Jesus and get rid of all your disappointments. Don't let your disappointment eat your faith cause disappointment will block your way to great things (faith). Sometimes you feel empty and sad and gloomy and whatsoever, because you get disappointed with what you don't get within your expectations. 

5. Grateful
Being grateful is the happiest thing. This is the key point to happiness is gratefulness. Be grateful for each miracles, opportunities, blessing and have faith in the Lord. Be grateful for little things cause that will make you happy. 

Now, its easier for me to be happy. Little things make me happy. Because now, I often express my gratitude by saying "thank you Jesus". 

When I found the things I look for at home before I felt the house (keys, mobile phone, jacket, socks, etc) I say "thank you Jesus". When I was at the office toilet and realised that there is no toilet paper then found a roll of toilet paper behind me, I feel grateful and say "thank you Jesus". When I walked to the office yesterday, two people smiled and said "good morning", I feel grateful and say "thank you Jesus" and pray so that God bless them. Being grateful actually makes me happier in life. 

Honestly before I was so stressed because I haven't got any proper job and I've been applying here and there but all I get is rejections. And now, I'm still looking for a job and I'm stuck being a receptionist when what I want is a marketing job. But I feel grateful cause at least I got an income and I have faith that God has prepared an awesome job for me. So each morning when miracles started happening, I take the opportunities I get to apply for jobs (spare time I got at the office) and pray with faith. And so instead of stressing out, I just feel happy. 


Anyway, this is another long post. Hope you're blessed with this.

Ciao xx

The Secret to Success in Life

You see.. Im not a good blogger. I don't often update this blog.

Anyway...

I'm a "thinker".. as in I think a lot. Sometimes what I thought of is not really relevant. I like to day dream and I think nothing is impossible, there's always a possibility (even the smallest possibility can happen)... Sometimes, I think about my own life. Not everyone knows my story, even if they do, they will never know how I feel cause we're all different. What I've been through is not as simple as it looks nor as easy as what people can see.

Then, a question popped up in my head "why do I have to face never ending problems?". That question has been in my mind for so long. Whenever I finished dealing with a problem, another problem arises and sometimes I have to face few different problems all at one.

I know I'm not the only person who deals with problems. Everyone has their own problems and I can't judge other people by saying "she/he is so lucky. she/he is living a good happy life". Some... umm correction: A LOT of people (I believe) are facing greater problems compare to what I'm facing or have faced. So, I can call myself lucky. But then, facing all this is painful. It hurts so much... I feel broken.

I've been searching here and there for an answer to the big question in my life (Why do I have to face so many problems?). I'm aware that I'm not perfect. Nobody is... But I want a good problem-free life. I want to be happy.

ok.. now... enough with all the problems... moving on.. lets get to the exciting part...

THE SOLUTIONS
(I pray to God to give me the ability to bless people through this. To reach the lost ones. Let this be God speaking through me. I'm nothing but I want God to use me. Amin.)

1. Path to Success

The best way to learn is to experience. The more problems you face, the more experience. The more experience, the wiser you are. The wiser you are, the more successful you will be (in life). FYI success doesn't mean that you're rich or have everything you want in this world. Success is more of your purpose in life. It can mean happiness, or being influential to others, etc.

Problems -> Experience -> Wisdom -> Success

If you have 10 problems, you have 10 experience, 10 wisdoms and then 10 success stories. But if you have 100 problems, you have 100 experience and 100 wisdoms, then 100 success stories.

So be grateful when you have to face a lot of problems. That means you are created to be very successful in your life. However, don't face it and then throw it. You have to learn and take ACTION from what you have learned.

2. Success Breaker

Giving up is what a lot of people do when one feel like he/she have had enough. God will NEVER give you problems that you cannot face. He knows you better than you know yourself. He chose each one of us even before the world was created. He knows everything, He has planned everything!

When you give up, you are actually cutting "the path to success". In other words, you are throwing away your own success. Don't you think its a waste?! Cause you are actually destined to be big and successful and without you realising, you are you own barrier to success. Instead of climbing up, sometimes people choose to fall. By giving up (in the process), you are throwing away what was planned for you. Some of you may think "how do you know what God has planned for me? This is bullish*t! You don't even know me (that well). You don't know everything or anything!". Believe me, I know nothing about you. But I know my Father and how much He loves his children (us). Look up John 3:16.

Our Father loves each one of us so much. Love is very powerful! Love is unconditional and selfless. God's love is perfect. Which is why I strongly believe that success is ALREADY given/planned by Him for each one of us. So if you're wondering "why am I not successful now?", the answer to that is: you, yourself. You are the reason of your unsuccessful life. You chose to not take that success that God has given to you and the best success breaker in life is your decision to give up.

Use your problem to push you up to your success, don't let your problems use you and drag you down to some place where you're not meant be in (which is where you feel like you're lost and empty). You are not made to be "low" or "small"! You are made to fly mighty like an eagle, you are made to be BIG, successful, to be a head (not tail). A problem is an opportunity. Be grateful for each problems you have.

3. The ULTIMATE Solution

Last night... Just last night... 15 hours ago... I found the root of all my problems I've had in life. Just one mistake. One that affects everything in my life. One that I ignored.

and that mistake is: Lack of Intimacy with God.

When you are intimate with your Creator. You will be given so much, far greater that what you could ever imagine. You would be given, not just wisdom but also great crazy miracles and loads of happiness, even if you are in the darkest place in this world. When you're intimate with Him, you will hear His voice. Well, He won't say it human to human way by talking right in front of your face but you will hear his voice in any form of communication He chose, to communicate with you. When God say it right to you, you don't even need human wisdom. True wisdom is NOT choosing what is right in life. True wisdom is doing what God wants you to do and stay faithful to Him. Your mind is so small but your God is so big. Sometimes God asks you to do something that doesn't make any sense to you at all. But things that doesn't make any sense are great things, and will produce a far greater results than things that actually make sense.

The key to everything is God. Be intimate, seek Him and you will hear His voice. Whatever God has planned is the best for you. Your road to your purpose might be rocky but remember that He loves you, He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. And the result is more than just worth it.



May you have a blessed day!


*Credit goes to Lysia Jessica*

Lift Issues

After watching final destination- and saw a scene where a person got stuck in between the two lift doors and the lift won't automatically open as it has no sensor then it moved up and.......... yeaaa... - I became more cautious when using a lift... Since I was little... I've been having issues with lifts... as such:

When I was about 5 years old... I broke a lift in a hotel somewhere in Jakarta... It was pretty bad that they had to get it fixed by mechanics... I don't quite remember the full story... 

Then about 6 years ago... I got squeezed in between the lift doors that were closing... and at that time the lift was full of people and they all laughed at me... 

About 2 years ago... I did something stupid in one of the lifts in my uni campus when I was heading towards my class with two of my friends. We got stuck in the lift and the lift kinda dropped by half level cause we were in between two levels when the lift stopped... 

Then there are stupid times when the lift didn't move to the destined level coz I haven't pressed the button... Just like what happened today...When I was at the basement walking towards my car, I then realized that... I left my car key at home sigh... so lil sister and I went back to our apartment to get the key... Then we waited in front of the lift for like about 5 minutes... We wondered "what the heck is wrong with this lift? Why isn't it here? Why does it took this freaking long?" then we stood there and laughed... Of course... We didn't press the button... 

Just another day

This afternoon I accompanied my mother to Prince of Wales Hospital... Everything is good... I'm happy.. 

Then I had dinner with my cousin.. Not blood related.. her uncle and aunt got married to my aunt and uncle... Anyway, I met some new people and I don't remember most of their names anymore... 

Then when we were walking towards where my cousin lives... Those bunch of Indonesian people  I had dinner with bumped into another bunch of Indonesian people... And I thought I saw someone familiar within that bunch of Indonesian people... Someone I don't really want to see... But phewww... its not the one I thought it was... which is good... 

Oh yea me and my sister have been having fun at home... you should try this too! its fun...

www.karaokeparty.com 

Beware! Its ADDICTIVE... lol.. 

Its 2 am now... time to knock off... :D 

What will happen?

What will happen? What will you do?

If you came to that state in life where you don't know who you are anymore and you feel like a robot.. breathing, eating, drinking, and do other activities but you just feel empty.. Feels like you have lost your soul.

Then out of nowhere, love came and filled your life over what you could have imagined and you feel very happy until you can't feel that pain and emptiness anymore.

But then... you found out that, that love is forbidden. They're taking it away from you and say "don't, this is not for you". What will happen next? What will you do?

(Its storming outside and the weather is very gloomy.. so I'm just being dramatic and imaginative)

God is AWESOME!

Apart from all the craps I went through, I am very grateful cause God is always with me, He will never leave me. In fact, He gave me more strength, He holds my hand and never let go. And above all, I thank God so so much for a bright shining star that brightens up my life and I am very much grateful for this. Thank God! God is indeed certainly the best! In times when darkness possessed my life, when I can't see nothing but darkness, He lead me through and only through Him I can go to the right path. He gave me light to shine my pathway so I can see how beautiful His promises are.

Thank You so much my Father, my Lord, my Everything...

My first and LAST time using e-go courier service

I sent my stuffs from Adelaide to Sydney. Just ordinary stuff like clothes, kitchen appliances, books, shoes, etc.. and I used E-go courier service. I chose a door-to-door service where they took my stuffs from my old house in Adelaide and dropped it off at my new house in Sydney. I registered 18 boxes in total. But!!!!!! guess what they did?! uhuhh.. they took my chairs that my mom sold to one of her friends and left in the garage which is where I put my boxes. I never ever asked them or registered (they use online system) in their website to deliver any chair from Adelaide to Sydney, well in their website it is written that they DO NOT deliver any furniture. But then they took my chairs and charged $110 on my credit card without my notice. The next thing I know, my chairs went missing. When my mother's friend came to my old house to get the chairs, none of it was there and a "job adjustment" receipt was sent by e-go to my email.

Since e-go is using an online system where everything is done online so no contact numbers etc.. I emailed them, telling them the situation. They replied saying that they couldn't find any chair. I was really upset coz they did sent me a job adjustment receipt stating that an extra four chairs was sent from Adelaide to Sydney. And so, I emailed them again and attached the job adjustment receipt they sent me. No one replies, not until I sent my 4th email. Well, long story cut short, after about two to three weeks, they finally found my chairs. So, I explained to them that this is all their fault since I never asked them to send my chairs, hence they should deliver my stuff back to Adelaide and refund the $110 they charged on my credit card for sending the chairs to Sydney. Instead of doing that, they charged $252 on my credit card for sending the chairs back to Adelaide. Which is very unfair! That was their fault and they are not responsible for what they did. I sent them more emails and different people replied and asked if I can explain the query. *Sigh...

So... for anyone who wants to send stuff interstate. I don't recommend e-go courier service. As explained above, their service is very poor and as a customer I am very disappointed. I asked if there's a number that I can call but they wont give me. So I have to wait for them to reply my email. 

Anyway, enough complaining :p sorry... May you all have an awesome day! xx

Just what happened in the last two months

It has been a long long time since I last posted on my blog.. I have been really packed with everything around me. So yea, I'm in Sydney now. I now live in Mascot but wont be here for too long. Once I've got a job, I'm planning to move or mom might buy an apartment in Sydney then I can live there with my sister, hopefully :) 

I cant believe its been almost 2 months since I first stepped my foot in Sydney. So many things have been going on in this last 2 months of my living in Sydney. 

April: I arrived in Sydney on the 4th of April. Moved to a new place in Mascot on the 19th of April. Applied for jobs and got my first interview on the 26th of April, however.. umm long story but I didn't make it through. Received a call from mom on the 25th of April when I was at the star with some friends and she told me that she's in the hospital cause she fell and injured herself and she needs to be operated so I went home and bought a ticket to Adelaide. Went to Adelaide on the 26th of April. Mom got discharged on the 27th of April. Hired a short term accommodation unit somewhere in Kuralta Park and stayed there for 3 weeks. 

May: My sister came to Adelaide for a few days. Went back to Sydney on the 16th of May. Picked mom and little sister from Sydney Airport on the 19th of May. And some shit happened but its pretty personal so I can mention anything about it here. But its pretty bad and it felt like crap... but, all good now, I guess... (hope).

and its the start of June now.. There are so many things that I need to do. I haven't even apply for US visa and this scares me to hell :( i haven't been able to do it :(. I just pray to God so the process won't take long and everything can go smoothly. 

So that's about what happened in the past two months :) 

Graduation Ceremony

As ya'll know, I had my graduation ceremony a few weeks ago on the 27th of March 2012 :) It was one of the best moments in my life!!! I can finally hold that piece of paper with my name and degree written on it. It felt really good when the chancellor handed me my parchment. It was just a big relieve. I'm so grateful that God has given me the opportunity to go to University and received my bachelor degree. Not everybody is as fortunate as me and I thank God so much for everything, including this.

Out of all my family members, Mom was the only one who made it to my graduation ceremony. Dad was really busy, eldest sister couldn't make it coz she has to work, brother can't make it as he has to work with dad, then my little sister had to do uni quiz during that day. But, even though they were not there during my graduation, I can somehow feel their love, plus they asked my cousin to buy me a bouquet of flowers with a graduation card that says that they're all proud of me :) Yes, they're really sweet!

Here are some pictures from my graduation ceremony:

My cousin, My aunt, Me and Mom

The graduants: Lisa, Me, Bel

Daughter and Mother

Henry, Me and Michelle

Me and The girl who went through all Uni times with me :) Thanks Lisa.. 

The Photographer (m'Lumiere photography) and  Me

Graduation Cake from Sisters and Brother :)

Graduation and Farewell Dinner with my some of my close friends

During my graduation + farewell dinner (which was a few days after the graduation ceremony and a few days before leaving Adelaide), my friend Erwin planned to surprise me but it didn't work out and I found out about everything :p

Thank youyouyou so much to all of my family and friends for the great support you all have given to me and also the prayers (especially my grandma). Thanks for being part of my life! I love you all so much..

My new home, Sydney

I've been wanting to update my blog but didn't have the time.. Now that I have a tiny bit of spare time, I decided to post as much as I can :D Its been 3 weeks since my last post :(

Hmm.. I'm no longer in Adelaide now. I'm in Sydney and this is my new home now. It takes a while to adapt to this whole different city but I'm all good :) I found some new friends and I'm having fun here. I do miss Adelaide so much though. I grew up in Adelaide and there are so many memories that will never be forgotten. But hey, I'm moving forward and I'll make more beautiful memories here.

I just got a new place and I'm moving soon, which is good :) then I need to start applying for jobs. Can't wait to be in the business world!! Hopefully it wont take long to finally start working.

I hate packing

Today I went to the house I used to live in, to pack the rest of my stuff. I have like a bit of personal stuff left and I packed it up. It took me about 7 hours to pack things like: fashion accessories (necklaces, bracelets, hats, earrings, rings, etc) , some unused gadgets and its accessories, stationary, nail polish and other nail stuffs, perfumes, skin care products, and etc... I realizes how disorganized and messy I was and so I had to re arrange everything in order and throw any unwanted/unneeded stuffs. Then I'm coming back tomorrow to pack some more stuffs.. and I need to pack my kitchen stuffs later.. *sigh* seriously... I hate packing... I really do hate packing...

When I came to my old house. I walked in and all the memories came back. How I was a tenant there and I remember when I unpacked things when I just moved in. Then now, I'm packing all my things again and soon I'll unpack it all again. 

I have moved in and out of many houses during my stay in Adelaide. 

2004: from Indonesia to Adelaide (Henry St, Plympton)

2007: Plympton to Wakefield St, St. Georges then back to Plympton

2008: Plympton to Wootoonna St, St Georges then to Ingomar, Hallett Cove

2011: Hallett Cove to Coglin St, Brompton.

Packing is tiring... and it brings back memories when you found something you have'nt seen in a while and it means something... 

Anyway, time for me to sleep... Nite nite xx

Adelaide 2012

Hey hey... so I'm back in Adelaide now. Can't believe that I've spent 3,5 months in Indonesia and now I'm back in Adelaide. I arrived yesterday morning and it was a stressing hectic day. I came with my mom's friend's sister and she's a talker, it was her first time travelling overseas and she can't speak English, which why she traveled with me from Indonesia to Adelaide so I can guide her through. Well, when we arrived at Adelaide Airport and went to get our baggages, I got my two luggages then we waited for her luggage to come but unfortunately it wasn't there. Apparently there are quite a number of people who lost the baggage stuffs that day. Well we had to fill up a form and once they heard from Singapore Airlines about her luggage, they'll contact my mom's friend and send her stuff to her place when they found it.

I've lived here, in Adelaide for 8 years so, Adelaide is like.. my home. So is Indonesia... but now, since I don't really live here anymore - and I'm here only to pack my stuff that I will send to Sydney and for my Graduation - I feel different. I feel like I'm just a visitor here, I've lost that "I'm Home" feeling. I used to feel that way and whenever I came back from Indonesia and arrived in Adelaide I'd always feel like I'm back home. This city is just a memory now. I will never forget that I have lived and was raised with a lot of experiences in this beautiful, peaceful, quite, small city. I had a beautiful journey in Adelaide and I know for sure that I'll have an even more beautiful awesome journey in Sydney and I will call it my home. For now I'll enjoy my last moments in Adelaide and of course, my graduation ceremony that I've been waiting for :).

8 years ago, I still remember when I first stepped my feet in this city... and its been more than 8 years since then... time oh time...

What a Happy Sunday!

I had a great day today... Ate too much and freaked out when I realized that I'm fatter than usual but I just had a nice day spending this whole day with my beloved family (minus my sisters and I miss them so much and would've been a better day if they're here too). 

For the first time since I arrived in Indonesia for this holiday, my parents, brother and I attended a church service. Then we had some Indonesian food for lunch. YUM! 

Then we bought some shirts for my little sister and me. After that we went to an electronic and white goods shop and dad decided to buy a new refrigerator and air con for our new house that is now in the finishing process. Well the kitchen hasn't been set up yet cause it will be the last thing to be set, but I've seen the design and it looks good. It takes a long time to build a house isn't it? Its been like two-years-ish since this new house started building. Maybe because dad doesn't want to rush things. The house won't be ready until next month so I have to wait until my next visit to Indonesia (end of June) to see the completed version and enjoy my stay at my new house.

So, the traffic was pretty bad today. We came home and dad took a nap for about 2 hours then we went out for hot pot dinner. YUM! And since I was too hungry, I didn't take any picture.

So that was pretty much how I spent my day today. And oh, I wore my new shoes and it is so comfy though it has heels.

Anyway its 00:30 here in Indonesia and I gotta sleep and wake up early for my usual pilates class with mom. 

Nitey Nite xx

Love and Lust

I am very upset after hearing my friend's story about how his relationship ended. Not gonna say much here but I've heard a few stories like this, where people have fallen for lust and betrayed love. Lust is temporary, well maybe its a little tiny bit important for any relationship but what matters most is love. Some people mentioned something about "unconditional love" but I think love itself is unconditional since it selfless otherwise it is not called love. Love is not just a feeling or emotion... Love is a package of everything.

Just like what the bible says (Corinthians 13):

"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongdoing.
It does not delight in evil,
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.
There is nothing love cannot face;
There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance"

"In a word, there are three things that last forever:
Faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love."

It is not easy to truly love someone and practiced all those love elements but it is also not easy to find that kind of true love (well, except God's love). Most people are individualistic, selfish and focuses more to him/herself in nature, to the point where they forget how to love. Nobody's perfect but love is. "Its not about finding the perfect person but loving someone imperfect perfectly" - Unkown-

Have a great night xx

What a class

This morning I attended a pilates class, then followed by an aerobic class with my mom. In pilates class, my spot was behind this lady who is one of my mom's gym buddies. She made me laugh but of course I tried to hold my laughter in class.

This is what happened:

Pilates Class:

Pilates Instructor (P): Ok, Now lets stretch like this and hold it for 8 seconds.. (It was tough seriously. My legs hurt that it feels like I have just walked from Adelaide to Bandung)

M (Me): 1, 2, 3

L (that lady I was talking about): 1, 2, 3

M: 4

L: 7 (she jumped from 3 to 7)

M: ...................................... 

Oh yea, I fell a few times during the balancing session in pilates class this morning. I hope no one realized it, well... I'll stand at the back of the class next time.. 

Then in Aerobic class:

I: 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 (following the music beat) *moving his legs left and right*

L: *shakes her ass side to side while moving her legs left and right*

M:..................... *laughed out loud (in my heart of course)*

A heartbreaking conversation

Lets just ease the serious nerves, I think I've been to serious in my blog :p

Last few weeks, for almost 2 weeks I was pretty hardcore at the gym. Almost every morning I woke up at 6:30am and left the house at 6:45am to attend a pilates class at 7:00am. After my pilates class I continued with other classes (Zumba, Step or Latin Dance, etc) until 9:00am. Then I continued to do some other exercises at the gym until about 10:00am. My body shape turned pretty well after those hardcore morning exercises and hardcore diet too. My body is the type of body that can easily change its shape so its a must for me to maintain when I've achieved my wanted body shape. Then I went to Jakarta for a week and stopped exercising and dieting for a while. When I was laying down on my cousin's sofa. My little nephew approached me.

Here's a heartbreaking conversation I had with my little nephew (grrr):
N (Nephew): Auntie...
M (Me): Yes honey
N: Is there a baby in your tummy?
M: *panic-realizing-that-i-have-a-fat-tummy-that-i-looked-pregnant-to-him* Nooo....... There's a baby in you mom's tummy not mine (my cousin is pregnant with her second child)! *sobs*
N: *laughing-so-hard*
M: *chased-him-and-tickled-him*

Well, for long term I WILL exercise every morning for at least an hour before starting my activities for the day and continue with my healthy diet. That is actually in one of my 2012 resolutions.

xx

Happiness is more important than Pride

Chase after whatever it is that makes you happy

Don't wait around and expect things to happen on its own

Cause it may not happen

God is always there and will give you the best

But He gives you choices 

To test your wisdom

Just take things slowly if you're not sure

Cause only time can tell 

Whether a decision is right or wrong

Your brain gives you more logic

But brain doesn't feel the pain 

And your heart does

Happiness is more important than pride

Be silly

Be stupid 

Be adventurous 

Take all the risks 

Cause chances are out there

Even if its not there 

You'll at least learn 

It is better to regret and learned something

Rather than regretting 

For not doing what you're supposed to do

Where am I?

If I’m a bird

I’d fly as high as I could

If I’m a fish

I’d swim as deep as I could

If I’m a horse

I’d run as fast as I could

I’ll disappear…

To a peaceful place

To a place untouched by any human

A place where nothing matters

A place where I can close my eyes

And listen to nothing but pure silence

But now I’m here

Where the silence is so loud

And the loud noises

Represent silence

Now, it is just me

And the sound of…

My tears. 

Java Jazz Festival 2012

It was my first time attending the Java Jazz Festival. Java Jazz Festival is held every year in Jakarta and this year is their 8th year. It was AWESOMEEE!!! Dave Koz was amazing!

Sadly, I didn't get to take a lot of pictures and videos because *sigh* my phone ran out of battery and died in the middle of the show.

Here are some pictures I took before my battery ran flat:

Twillite Orchestra 

Twillite Orchestra 

Trio Lestari: Sandy, Glenn and Tompi

Glenn Fredly

Dave Koz

Pocho Sanchez

So, I watched:
1. Twillite Orchestra
2. Trio Lestari: Tompi, Glenn and Sandy Sandoro.
3. Poncho Sanchez Latin Jazz Band
4. Dave Koz
5. Taylor and Bobby McFerrin
6. Hector Infanzon
7. Oele Pattiselanno
8. Mayer Hawthorne and the county
9. Phil Perry
10. My sister's friend's band and I have no idea what it's called

Overall, I very much enjoyed JJF! Dave Koz was amazing. He melted my heart like... I'd marry him :p and the rest of the bands were amazing too :)

Man that was really fun! I would definitely attend JJF every year if I get a chance to. But I'll be working soon and may not be able to come home to Indonesia that often.

xx

Not so much of an active blogger :(

As all of you know, I'm not an active blogger. I'll try to be more active. I haven't post anything in the last few weeks because of a few reasons:

1. Busy: went to Singapore to accompany mum for med check-ups, came back to Bandung (left my laptop), went to Jakarta again for Adelaide Alumni Party (that was pretty lame), came back to Bandung for 1 day coz I don't wanna miss family time since that's the only time my eldest sister can come home to Bandung, then went to Jakarta again for Java Jazz Festival (more on that later :D) and I arrived back in Bandung just 2 days ago. 

2. My laptop was at my cousin's house in Jakarta while I was in Bandung at that time. Now both my laptop and I are in Bandung yay. I couldn't use mom's or bro's laptop or computer coz I don't get the "feeling" to write using their's. 

I like writing tho.. here in my blog so I can share my stories with other people or just my personal diary (I write more in my personal diary.. well of course, I'm not that active here). And.. you can categorized me as forgetful as it is not uncommon for me to forget things. So whenever I wrote about my activities, at another time when I read it again I could remember things that I may have forgotten. 

Well its been over 3 months now since I got back from Adelaide to my beloved home country, Indonesia and yep, time flies! Im flying back to Adelaide soon, in less than 2 weeks. And I am still looking for the perfect graduation dress.. aww its not that easy, I wanted to get it custom made but I'm not too sure about the design (I had a few ideas and some designs from a designer but... arghh.. I didn't get the "feeling") and maybe its better to find one that I really like and just buy it. Hopefully I can find one soon!

Have an awesome day.. xx

Happily tired

I am currently doing an internship at periplus office, somewhere in west Jakarta. And I am freakin tired, I've stayed in Jakarta (for my internship) for like 3 weeks-ish and I haven't even spent a weekend here in Jakarta. Although I'm tired having to go here and there, those weekends were GUHREAT (great). I get to spend those times with my big beloved family.

1st weekend: I went back to Bandung for Chinese New Year. This CNY is definitely different from other CNY events I have ever celebrated . Usually I visit my aunt from dad's side but this time mom's family gathered at my house. And in the afternoon, we celebrated my sister's, my two cousins', and cousin's wife's birthdays (they were born in January). What a blast! 

2nd weekend: I went to Surabaya for my cousin's wedding. I had trouble getting there, it was a long tiring hectic journey but yay I made it anyway. I had to pay extra for the flight I missed because I couldn't go to Bandung because of a bunch of people complaining that caused the traffic to be highly terrible and some roads were closed. Ah well whatever! I made it and it was a happy moment for the newly wed and our big family. 

3rd weekend: Had to go to Jogja/Jogya/Yogya for my other cousin's wedding. This time more cousins came (compared to my other cousin's wedding). And my little nephew came too and he is sooo cute. I'm staying with him now by the way, until i finished my internship. Well, the wedding party wasn't big but the food was pretty nice and we made our favorite aunt sang during the wedding ceremony (by sending a special request to the party host :p). Well it was really fun and I wish all the best for my cousin and his wife. 

and... I want to congratulate my pretty friend Cicilia (http://hijautransparan.blogspot.com/).. for her first day at work today. She's working at where I'm doing my internship. Hope she's happy with the job, learn a lot as time goes by, and one day pursue her own dream of becoming the owner of a big bookstore called peek-a-book. And tomorrow I'm gonna work with her yay! We'll kick some ass! 

Good Night xx

Crazy, yes I am

Okay, so my posts have been all serious and mellow.. Actually, I'm not that serious in person. Well.. depends, most people's first impression towards me: feminine, lady-like, serious, etc.. but once people get to know me better, most of them changed their minds. I'm not so close to be categorized "feminine" or lady like, tomboy but not too tomboy. I'm brave, crazy, talkative, playful, etc.. 

Since I'm having my graduation ceremony in less than 2 months and my life is going to change, there are some crazy things I wanna do before I have my graduation ceremony. Like.......... not-gonna-say-it-here! Well, working life doesn't mean I can't have fun (coz I will have fun regardless of anything), but its the time for me to be a real grown up and act like a grown up so I will have to set limitation to certain things. 

That Three Things

There are three things that you can’t take or have back. They are words, action and time. Once you’ve said or done something, you can’t undo it. Some people that you may have hurt from your words and/or action may forgive you but they might not be able to forget it. Depends on how big it is; the bigger the matter the harder it is to forget or in some case it may not be ever forgotten.

Time is one of the most precious thing, once you have missed something, then that’s it you just missed it. Once you wasted it, that’s it you can’t have more than that. Time is the reason why you can’t undo or redo your action or words. Because you can’t turn back time, not even the wealthiest person on earth. That’s a fact you can’t deny. So, cherish every moment you have. 

*credit to my friend EAH*

Deserve

"You don't deserve me, I don't deserve you" 

Popular saying?!

What do we really deserve? We never really deserve anything. You know, sometimes its just in our mind. We're the one who set ourselves what we "deserve" according to individual's criteria, satisfactory level, paradigm - its just about oneself. Paradigm leads to perception, perception leads to emotion (our emotional reaction towards something) -The shack, William P. Young-.

Life is full of choices, whether you want to be happy or you want to keep chasing what you "deserve". You want something, you work hard. If you don't get what you have expected then that is not meant to be for you. You'd think... "I have worked really hard and I deserve it" and it came from your mind. Only God who knows the real truth, so just give him whatever you have and He'll work things out for you coz He knows what's best for you, just trust him and He'll lead you to the right path. Well, this doesn't mean that you just give up on your dreams, God knows what you really want and He'll give you the best, He needs to see your effort too :) 

Happy New Year

Well, today is the 4th of January.. but hopefully its not too late to say HAPPY NEW YEAR. I know im not a good blogger, i don't even advertise my blog so that people can read, so only a few people know about this blog. Anyway, I could'nt blog on the 31st of Dec or 1st of Jan because I stayed over at the hospital accompanying my mum who just had an operation.

At that time, when 2011 has just ended, i wanted to write so much so I typed it in my phone so I can copy paste it here :)

01-01-2012

2011 December, my family is reunited, no one is missing, we even have our old maid back working with us. For this new year celebration (although mum and dad doesnt really celebrate new year) I was expecting this complete family to be together hugging each other after we did our countdown. But here I am with my brother accompanying mum in the hospital, while dad, eldest sis and lil sis went home. I am now watching the fireworks from the hospital window while remembering other new year activities that I did during the past few years that I can remember.

For me, many thing happened during 2011. It leaves me with lots of memories, some sweet and some bitter. However, through it all there is not even a second I spent, without great blessing and love from God. I am standing right here, right now, getting ready to step into 2012. A new year with new great journeys, overflowing blessings, love, happiness, success, and may God add more wisdom to me and all my beloved ones :)

Good bye 2011 and welcome 2012 :) It's going to be an awesome year!