So another year has passed.
I don't know what to say about 2012. So many things happened that year. I would say that it was not an easy year but one thing for sure, God never leaves me. For all that has happened, I want to thank Him, and for all that will happen I also want to thank Him.
Honestly... 2012 was a hectic year. It was my first year to face a real life, to finally spread my wings and fly. It has always occupied my mind before that I finished uni and really spread my wings and fly high. But in reality, just like a newborn bird, it takes time to practice and really fly. A lot I fell, a lot I injured myself... lots and lots of times.
At the very start of the year, I made my resolutions. In one of my resolutions, lay a dream that I have always dreamed. My need, my passion, one of the things that I always carry in my prayers. It has been a while since I asked for this. But I got super exhausted. I can't sleep, I can't eat and I don't have any mood to do anything. I really feel hopeless. I ran out of energy. I feel like my dreams are dragging itself away from me.
I lay on the ground like a dead person. Sadness and hopelessness have drained all my energy out. And I begin to cry. In my heart I prayed "God, I am tired. I don't know what to do anymore. I know you are a faithful God, but right now I have ran out of faith. Right now, I feel so hopeless. If you want me to wait, please just give me the energy to face this. Please spare me some hope and faith"
Out of nowhere, I decided to give. I just feel like giving. And so I did.
I was told to attend a meeting and I really don't feel like going. I have no energy. But I feel like it is a responsibility for me to come and so I did. I look like a soul-less person. As I walked into the room, people started asking "Are you OK? What's wrong with you?". A common answer to avoid any other questions "Yes, I'm OK".
One of the leaders, who is also my mentor called me and said he wants to discuss something important with me. And we sat and talked. He wants me to be a leader for the young professional segment. The first thing that came into my mind "OH NO, another responsibility, I am not even settled with my life" but I chose to listen and say nothing. Then I told my mentor about my problem and I said "I don't know what God wants in my life. Does he want me to wait or I'm not doing things right". And we had a few minutes talk about it.
Suddenly *BAM* just within a few minutes time, God has turned my life 180 degrees. He gave me new energy, new faith and new hopes. And I just can't believe it. It took me a while to consume everything. Cause it was SHOCKING. Only a few minutes and my life is different. Amazing!
I am seriously ashamed of myself. I doubt God but He never fails to perform great miracles in my life.
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